Q: What do fossils always teach us?
A: They only guarantee one bit of information for us: the fact that the animal died. Basically, we can’t guarantee that they reproduced or that they grew to adulthood or that they were even around other creatures. My main focus today is going to be on dinosaurs, mostly because I really like dinosaurs.
Now tell me, what do you know about dinosaurs? Like besides the stuff that you’ve been told in kid’s books, what have you observed about dinosaurs for you eyes? Nothing right? Exactly. Here’s what I think: we’re once again being lied to. There has to be some crazy messed up stuff about dinosaurs that no one is telling us. Just recently, scientists just suddenly decided that it’s possible that some dinosaurs might have feathers on them instead of being all full of scaly skin. This is obviously much less cool than the idea of the Tyrannosaurus Rex being a scary and scaly dinosaur that will bite your head off. Now all of a sudden scientists are trying to take away the vision of a dope dinosaur that we’ve always had and they’re trying to make it like a small bird. Does that seem right?
No, it doesn’t. Clearly not. So I’m here today to present a new theory. A theory that’s often been treated as a joke but since we as intelligent beings are questioning everything we should be able to look at this with an open mind. So here I present to you, the “Lad Dinosaur.”
As shown in this picture, there is no way to tell if dinosaurs looked like absolute units with dope hairdos, since hair can’t be preserved in fossils. Based on this, we have no idea if dinosaurs had amazing haircuts with waves or if they had mullets or ANYTHING. They could have been fashion artists for all we know. Thank you for your time, and make sure you tell people about what you’ve heard here, we may need to spill the beans if you know what I mean.